asexuality – AlchemistDoctor backup

The other thing about hating literally everything sex does in society is that occasionally when your body gets aroused in that completely out-of-the-blue way bodies have a habit of doing sometimes, you just… loathe yourself because how dare your very own body insist on treating you this way

Like I asked my spouse for a new vibrator but it’s not because I’m excited, it’s cause I want the whole process to end sooner and be done with it

Edit: By ‘the whole process’ I mean self-pleasure because my spouse doesn’t ever rape me ever, just clarifying, because I realised some people might think I was talking about sex with him

Every so often I think I might actually have some kind of sexual attraction but I can’t separate sex from what part it plays in our society and culture and ugh just like

I don’t understand beauty in the sexual sense

I like function, and form, and skill; those I can understand. But just liking a nipple because it’s a nipple. Or skin because it’s skin? What is that like?

I can find the function of those things fascinating and amazing, but I see nothing that I find the need to touch or explore in that sense….