POGIL has entirely ruined this course.

I was homeschooled when I was young. Hell, I was UNschooled when I was young. The feeling of wanting to cry every time I had to face the work because I hadn’t been taught it and didn’t understand it is terribly familiar. 

It’s one thing to face that when your teacher is your mum. It’s an entirely different thing to face when you’re paying thousands of dollars of tuition to be taught a concept, and are instead handed a packet and told to teach yourself. 

“In the real world, no-one walks you through problems.” True. But also, they train you and teach you the concepts before setting problems in front of you. I assume any problem I face in my job after uni will be one after university, where I was trained enough to get a degree. Any duties I have above that I should be trained for. No, not every problem is explained, but the concepts the problems are based on should have an adequate base of knowledge. 

I have no base of knowledge for this. This is a second-level course. We’re still building a base of knowledge. This is ridiculous.

Professor C——-l is on my list of Loathsome Individuals that I intend to be better than. 

The weekend’s half over and I’m disproportionately upset by this. I really don’t want to face school again. 
Additionally, I just finished a television show I’ve been watching since high school, and the idea that there’s no more of it has made me sad. 

I’m sick and I’m still spending the whole day watching physics videos in an attempt to catch up after I missed class twice (once today, cause sick, and once Wednesday, because the class before took too much time). I literally don’t think my body can keep up with the amount of stress and classwork I have.

Hanging with straight friends is always the most bizarre experience, like yes, I suppose those two actors definitely look different… this is Patrick Grant, right?

News: I can’t tell Hugh Grant and Patrick Dempsey apart.

The other thing about hating literally everything sex does in society is that occasionally when your body gets aroused in that completely out-of-the-blue way bodies have a habit of doing sometimes, you just… loathe yourself because how dare your very own body insist on treating you this way

Like I asked my spouse for a new vibrator but it’s not because I’m excited, it’s cause I want the whole process to end sooner and be done with it

Edit: By ‘the whole process’ I mean self-pleasure because my spouse doesn’t ever rape me ever, just clarifying, because I realised some people might think I was talking about sex with him